Overwhelming

The irony of trying to be perfect

I have some kind of obsession with being perfect with everything. I have a superhuman concentration from time to time but that didn't last long as I often find out, in order to get a tangible result, I need to really keep rushing to the end goal. However, when I look upon the peak of the goal, I usually feel I am too far away from it, not being able to imagine me arriving at the peak. When I get this kind of "goal is too far away" feeling, I mostly stopped, because I was afraid of failure, not reaching the peak, being ashamed. So, I make many "reasonable" excuses to give up trying.

 

The excuses are like:

"it's waste of time."

"It's not worth it."

"Maybe there is a more productive goal."

 

 

I am too obsessed with achieving a goal, this ironically prevents me from really achieving it, because I don't want a failure. I rather, in the subconscious mind, decide, not to fail than possible failure, although this may not make me succeed but, won't make me a loser in a superficial sense.

 

 

Overwhelming

This is the word I remind while learning about coding. This is the first feeling I encounter when processing it to give up learning and making excuses. It is a simple reason.

 

Because it is hard

 

What is failure? I think about this for a moment. We have read many self-help books talking about failure as the mother of success. We all know it is true as we saw many people trying their best even when they are in hardship, they never gave up and succeed proudly proving the point.

 

We know failures and much hard work eventually pay off and make results, but how many of us really believe and stick to the simple succeeding principle as we all already know?

 

We watch countless Youtube videos about inspirations and success, but how much do we really do the work to get there?

 

To be honest, I was being a loser all the time, running away from what I had to do, and always comforting me that there would be a better way to the future, telling me that I didn't fail.

 

 

 

When Clouds hide the peak

I have experience climbing Mt. HUJI when I was 13 years old. The height was over 3,000m high(That doesn't seem that high though). On the first day, it was easy and comfortable, I climbed it like a feather, there was nothing hard. I ate Japanese Curry in the middle of Mt., and slept inside it. When I got up in the morning, I felt like the world was spinning and threw up all the curry I ate the day before. It was cold and dark, there were too many people surrounding me, there was no way to go back. I was only half or below halfway through the peak, I looked up at the peak, but couldn't see the peak because of the dense clouds.

 

Nothing was so painful than the fact that how long I have to endure this pain and suffering. When we get this feeling we tend to stop and resign.

 

I finally did climb up though. 

 

I have been doing it my whole life, and want to stop this. When there is pain, focus not on the peak but walking itself, enjoying the view.

 

This would make legs lighter; you wouldn't feel that this hardship isn't that hard at all. What you need to do is only to make sure that you are walking the right path, and if you are already convinced about it, just walk. Keep walking till you find out you already have reached the goal, and you may find out that the important thing was walking the path itself after all, not the peak.